Eight A
8. a.
flossing and singing.
A man. In front of a mirror. Flosses.
He sings.
MAN
bebbye ibb a fweind.
Web I pow ‘es beeb a guwd fweind ub mieb
Bubb waybweee pumpines painjed and ibss hawd to depine
Bebbye’s bot hibself a gewl ebb I wanna bape hew bime.
…
domchu bow I wifh I hawd bebby’s gewl!
domchu bow I wifh I hawd bebby’s gewl!
Enter a woman.
Angry.
She has a large suitcase and throws things in it from atop the sink.
Toothpaste.
Toothbrush.
Deoderant.
The man flosses but stops singing.
MAN
ewe weeby gong?
WOMAN
What?
MAN
Awl ewe weeby gong?
WOMAN
Yes.
I’m leaving.
MAN
doo ewe half to dout pnow?
WOMAN
I think it’s best that I go now.
Could you move.
MAN
Pfwaht?
WOMAN
You’re standing on my bath mat.
MAN
Ewe kint half dat!
WOMAN
It’s mine.
MAN
Noietasnot!
WOMAN
It is!
I bought it at bed bath and beyond the day we moved in.
Cause it had those green polka dots.
MAN
Webb.
Pfwhat ibb I geft ouf da showww ebb twip ebb faww?
WOMAN
That’s just a chance I have to take.
…
you won’t fall getting out, just be careful.
…
fine you can keep it.
MAN
Dew ewe thtill wovbe mee?
WOMAN
MAN
Dew ewe?
WOMAN
I don’t know.
MAN
Ibb dewe thtill a tdchance?
WOMAN
I don’t know.
…
There’s always a chance.
The woman picks up a toothbrush.
Puts toothpaste on it.
Brushes her teeth.
She looks long at the man, his hands deep in his mouth, scraping the backs of his molars.
WOMAN
Ihh dewe wubve ewe.
MAN
I wubve ewe tewwe.
They kiss.
Toothpaste falls to the floor.
The man’s hands are in the way.
The woman’s toothbrush is in the way.
They don’t mind.
Dental hygiene is important. But love is too.
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