Ten
10. (9/23/2009)
a kernel of truth
FACT: The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
Two men on a bench.
Older gentlemen.
Staring off into the distance.
The sun is beginning to set.
HEINER
I suppose.
BERTOLT
Well, I supposed first.
HEINER
There’s no telling who truly supposed it first unless someone were living in our brains.
BERTOLT
I feel that way sometimes.
A strong breeze.
The two men hold on to their hats.
HEINER
Cold today.
BERTOLT
Mmhmm…
HEINER
Winter’s coming.
BERTOLT
Mmhmmm.
HEINER
BERTOLT
HEINER
What is a word that rhymes with orange?
BERTOLT
Nothing in the English language rhymes with the word orange.
HEINER
But English is not the only language.
BERTOLT
It is the only language I care about anymore.
HEINER
Fair enough.
…
what do you do about colloquialisms from other languages?
BERTOLT
I do nothing with them.
They’re not English.
HEINER
I guess you have a point there.
They sit.
And sit.
BERTOLT
Could I have the sports section of the newspaper.
HEINER
I don’t have a newspaper.
BERTOLT
You’re sitting on it.
I had set it beside me when I sat at this bench
ALONE
And now you have seated yourself next to me
And on my newspaper.
HEINER
My mistake.
BERTOT
It was.
HEINER
Which section?
BERTOLT
Sports.
HEINER
What sports do you follow?
BERTOLT
None.
I like to look at pictures of athletes and remind myself that I once had a younger and fitter and more attractive physique.
HEINER
Here you are.
BERTOLT
Thank you.
They sit.
Bertolt reads the sports section.
HEINER
I believe they are cancelling the olympics this year.
BERTOLT
Hmmmm…
HEINER
Because of the war.
BERTOLT
Which war?
HEINER
I’m not sure.
One of them.
One of the wars.
BERTOLT
Could it be a war that has already happened?
HEINER
I’m not sure that makes much sense.
BERTOLT
No, I suppose not.
Maybe a war that’s about to begin?
HEINER
That makes more sense.
BERTOLT
Yes.
It does.
…
There should be a rule that says that no wars may occur during the year of the olympics.
HEINER
That’s not a bad idea.
BERTOLT
I don’t think any of our athletes would have to die during a year they were supposed to shine during that way.
HEINER
It would certainly rid the world of that Irony, yes.
BERTOLT
Well that settles it then…
They sit.
HEINER
May I read the arts and leisure?
BERTOLT
If you promise to never tell me about either of those things,
Or even read through the newspaper and say
“Huh”
hoping that I will look up and ask you what is so interesting.
HEINER
I can promise to do that.
BERTOLT
Read away.
The two old men read.
HEINER
Huh.
…
They’re remaking Gilligan’s Island.
Bertolt stands up and walks to the bench downstage.
The two men sit and read.
HEINER
Huh…
