thirty-five
35. (10/18/2009)
Doctors.
1
No…No… please don’t try and tell me how it works. I don’t know how it works. You don’t know how it works. And nobody can tell me how the whole thing “works”… but that’s the point, I think. If no one can tell you how it works then it just works and that’s it and that’s how the whole thing works. It works because you don’t know. That’s how I know I can be with a woman for fifteen years, and force myself to think I love her, and meet someone else, someone new, someone completely different and she can jump into my life and make me feel like that. And I don’t know what to do. So what’s that doctor?
2
I’m a doctor of philosophy, not of psychiatry.
1
And so that’s what I’m saying! You can’t tell me, and even if you could, even if in some bizarre twist of fate, you could tell me what this love shit was, I don’t think I’d want you to. Because… love is… love is not knowing but going with it anyway. I think… I think it’s the biggest adventure you can take and to be truly truly brave is to love someone… Ugh…I sound like a greeting card for the uninspired… I’m sorry I shouted at you.
2
You didn’t shout, you got passionate. People shouldn’t apologize for being passionate they should expect apologies from those who don’t get that way.
1
and the first thing I say to myself when I wake up is, looks like you’re at another day, looks like you’ve got to make it through this now. Why’d you wake up?
Why’d you even bother to wake up at all because now, well now, you’ve got to make it through this whole day. All twenty-four hours of it. Maybe you should try and go back to sleep, but that’s cheating isn’t it.
Isnt’ it?
2.
I’m sorry?
1
that’s cheating. You can’t just kep going back to bed over and over anv over again, because eventually you have to wake up again and that kills people. It kills people to have to realize that, that they’ll be getting back up again.
Because of all of the perks of being alive, sleeping is the best.
2
I’m sorry I don’t have more to tell you. My background is in American literature of the reformation.
1
that’s what I could use.
2
information?
1
a reformation.
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